How Many Weapons Do You Have?

Not mine, but I love the 300 sword at the bottom.

    I recently moved and had to pack up all my stuff.  This is always a good chance to take inventory of all the things you've collected.  And man, I collect way too much stuff.  What struck me as kind of disturbing, was putting all of my weapons in one place to move them.  I've collected a lot of weapons and had them scattered all over my house.  There wasn't really a room, save maybe the bathroom, where I wasn't within a couple steps of a weapon.  Granted, a lot of them were training weapons, but they could definitely be used in home-defense situations.  This got my thinking.

Yawara

    Besides my actual weapons, what improvised weapons could I use?  I started off by sitting on my couch, and thinking what is within hands reach if I had to.  My first thought... my remote.  Anything a little longer than your fist, that you can hold in your hand can be used like a yawara!  Looking at it like that, my house if FULL of weapons.  Imagine being hit in the temple with a hammer fist with a Matchbox car sticking out the bottom!  Or between the ribs.. or...anywhere.  And because I have a two year old, there are little cars stuck everywhere.

    Second I went to my bathroom.  I had said this was the only room in my house without a weapon.  I found out through moving, that a toilet plunger hurts when its dropped on your foot.  It works like a club.  There, I weaponized the bathroom.  Almost everything can become an improvised weapon when it needs to be.  Roll up a magazine and fold it in half.  There now you have a club.  I've even seen someone stab through a watermelon with a rolled up newspaper.

    My point is, everything can be a weapon.  You just have to think about them that way.  As humans we tend to think in terms of categories.  It's hardwired into us.  We place items into categories of use.  Go for a minute and look into a tool box.  Most of them are filled to the brim with improvisable weapons.  Just change your perception.  For your own safety do it now, before the adrenalin starts to flow and you can't think.  Walk around your place, or office, or where ever you spend a large amount of time, and find all the weapons you can.  You'll be amazed how many there are.

Anyone got a good story of improvised weapons use?